How To Choose Guardians For Your Children
Who do you want to raise your kids if you can't? It's a weird, unsettling, scary question. Some people cannot make a decision, others don't want to even think about it. But the truth is that it is something that really needs to be done. So how do you go about it in a way that you can mentally handle? Follow these steps and you will find Guardians that you can feel good about, which in return will make you feel empowered and secure.
Sit down with a quiet house; put the kids to bed and pour a glass of wine. You are going to make 2 lists.
1. The first list is of all of the qualities you would want in the person raising your children (don't worry about money). Do you want this person to be driven, ambitious? Easy-going and chill? Strict parenting style? Religious? Health conscious? Pet friendly? Anything and everything you'd want your child to grow up with. List these all out and rank by priority.
2. Your second list will be of people in your life that you would consider. Things to think about are location and how your children relate to them. Another factor to consider is if you'd want a couple or one of them. For example, you list your sister as a potential Guardian. Is she married? Do you want to list her and her husband? What if they get divorced, would you want them to continue Guardianship together or for your child to remain with your sister? Next go down this list, person by person and compare to your list of qualities.
Maybe the Guardians you choose live far away, perhaps even out-of-state. If your Guardians live over an hour away, I recommend also nominated "Temporary Guardians". This person can step in for the time it takes your Legal Guardians to get to your children, which erases the possibility that your children could be in CPS custody until the Legal Guardians arrive.
Remember, no one is perfect and it is completely normal to feel like none of these people would do as good of a job as you. Focus on love and how the the Guardian would shape your child. Choose someone who would take your wishes seriously and utilize them even if they don't align with their own.
And finally, in order for your Guardians to be actual Guardians, they have to be nominated in a Will and that Will has to be legal.